45
by Mrs. Nina Cullen
Summary: He was in love with the girl of his dreams. He knew that they were going to spend their lives together. That was until he heard her in the throws of passion with another man. What he does next breaks every ones heart. OS M- for content- no lemons


**45**

By: Mrs Nina Cullen

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight. I do not own Edward. Both are Property of SM. The title is the name of a song by Shinedown.

_**Warning:** This story contains language and content that is not appropriate for people under the age of eighteen. Honestly some things my not be appropriate for people of any age but if you are at least Eighteen then you may proceed. Please to any one old enough drink responsibly and never alone. _

**Summary: He was in love with the girl of his dreams. He knew that they were going to spend their lives together. That was until he heard her in the throws of passion with another man. What he does next breaks every ones heart.**

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**What ever happened to the young man's heart. Swallowed by pain as he slowly fell apart.**

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Edward was not the most romantic of men. He knew this but on a few occasions he believed that he had gone above and beyond. This was one of those times. He had planned on surprising his girlfriend of two years with an engagement ring. He had made her dinner (spaghetti was the only thing he knew how to cook besides breakfast). He had bought candles and he was going to have a romantic dinner at his apartment and shower her with all the love he could. He had bought the ring two months prior and had been carrying it around waiting for the right moment to ask. Then he decided that instead of waiting for the right moment he would make it. He was on his way to pick her up from her apartment. He had wanted everything to be a surprise so he had not told her much about what their plans were for the evening. He had only asked her to be ready by eight and that he wanted to take her out some place nice. He was walking up to her door about forty-five minutes early because he just couldn't sit around and wait. He was about to knock when he heard some noise. He leaned in to the door to hear better.

What he heard broke his heart into billions of little pieces. He could hear her moaning as some man continued to tell her to ride him faster. He stood there for a full minute just listening to them as they yelled and moaned in pleasure. She had never been that enthusiastic when they had made love. It had always been sweet, kind and caring. His mind flashed through all the time they had spent together and everything she had ever said and done. Nothing he could remember pointed to this happening. His body moved slowly as he had grabbed the handle to the door. He wanted to go in there and kill the guy for touching his girl then yell at her for hurting him in the worst way possible. He removed his hand form the door and walked away. The pain in his chest radiated all over his body slowly but surely consuming him. He stumbled as he made it to the elevator. He didn't want to feel this pain he didn't want to feel anything. He pushed the pain aside and the numbness took over. He felt nothing, he thought nothing. He was just the shell of the man that had existed a mere ten minutes before.

Finally he made it out of her building and back in to his car. He began to drive towards his apartment but decided to stop at the liquor store first. He grabbed about ten bottles of any kind of whatever that was on the shelves. Once home he took his purchase up to his room. He went in to his closet and retrieved two boxes. He sat on the floor of his room and began to drink. He opened the first box and pulled out .45 caliber pistol and placed it beside him. He opened the other box and took out pictures and momentous from the last two years. As he looked at pictures of how happy they had been he began to wonder if it was ever real and if maybe she had been thinking of someone else at the time. He put the pictures down and began to drink more.

He was half way through bottle five when he had the urge to pee. He unsteadily pick him self up and made his way to the bath room. In his inebriated state his aim was far from good and he made a miss in his bath room. As he went to walk away he slipped in his urine and fell to the floor hitting his arm and breaking it. He laughed humorlessly. He slowly made his way up to his knees and grabbed a bottle of pain killers from the medicine cabinet. He poured a few in to his hand and he looked at it with blurry vision then poured out a few more for good measure. He didn't want to feel pain. He didn't want to feel any thing. He threw them in to his mouth and chased them down with the rest of bottle number five. He sat there on the floor of his bath room sitting in his own urine thinking about how his life should have been before all the pain went away and everything went black.

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**Swimming through the ashes of another life, **

**There is no real reason to accept the way things have changed**

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The darkness that consumed Edward slowly began to retreat. He first heard the `thumping of his heart in his chest. He listened to the rhythmic beat to help him focus on waking up. He heard a beeping sound that matched his beating heart. He counted the beats and beeps while he focused. Soon he started to feel the things around him. He could tell he was lying down. He focused on the feeling of the bed on his back. He could feel something holding his hand. He closed his hand around what ever it was. He heard a gasp before he heard the voice of an angel.

"Edward, are you awake?" she asked. He closed his hand again. He focused on his eyes and they slowly fluttered open. The bright lights of the room made him shut them quickly. He opened them again slowly letting the light in. When he opened his vision still slightly blurry, he saw the angle that had spoken to him.

"Oh my god you really are awake. I was so worried. I'm going to go get a nurse."she smiled at him with tears in her eyes. She placed a small kiss on his lips before she ran out of the room. It took only a second for everything that had happened to him to come crushing down on him. The hurt that had built up consumed him. The woman that had just left his room was no angel she was the devil. She had ripped his heart out of his chest and shattered it yet she could sit beside him and pretend that she had done nothing. His soul darkened as the love he had once felt for her started to turn to hate. He sat up and fell back down. The nurse came in followed by _her_. His breathing became labored and his heart was erratic.

"Whats wrong?" the nurse asked as she tried to keep him sitting.

"Get _her _out of here." he said slowly through his teeth. His dry throat hurt with every word but he need her out of his sight. It was painful to think of what she had done but to have her right there like she had done nothing was pure torture. The nurse asked her to leave the room then gave Edward some medicine to calm him down. He finally calmed down and laid there staring at the white ceiling. He heard the door open and his eyes flickered down to see who had come in. He saw his sister come in. She sat next to him and held his hand.

"You know you scared the shit out of all of us." she said not really looking at him. His sister was one of the strongest people he knew. She had been through a lot in her life and always showed no fear. So when he saw how truly worried she looked he knew it was bad. "Why? What possessed you in to doing something so stupid." she paused wiping a tear from her face. "You know that you crashed twice right in front of me. I saw you almost dead. They have you on suicide watch right now. I just don't understand what happened to you Edward. What happened that made you do this?" He tightened his grip on his sisters hand.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I swear Rose it was a mistake."

"How the fuck is trying to kill your self a mistake Edward?" she said angrily.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was angry and hurt. The pain in my heart wouldn't go away. I just wanted to stop the hurt. I just wanted to forget Rose, I just kept hearing her over and over again in my head and I couldn't take it."

"So you mean to tell me I almost lost my baby brother because some bitch didn't accept your proposal?"

"I never got to ask her. When I got to her apartment I heard her. She was getting fuck by some ass hole. I couldn't deal with it so I left. I went home and got wasted. I'm sorry for scaring you Rose, I didn't mean to, really." Rose looked down at her little brother looking broken and weak. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and made a silent vow to make sure that the _Bitch_ that broke his heart would pay. She left shortly after and promised to sneak him in some real food.

When Edward woke up again he found two of his friends sitting by the wall. When they noticed he had woken they moved closer and asked how he was doing. There was a moment where none of them knew what to say. Edward thinking that they were nervous about what to say to him spoke first.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"We know, Rose told us." they both said.

"Then whats with the looks Jazz?"

"It's just that she told us what you said and what happened and well we aren't sure if what you think happened really happened."

"What the fuck. Are you telling me that you think that I just dreamt this shit up. That I want to feel this mind numbing pain just for shits and giggles." His heart rate accelerated and his breathing became labored. The nurse rushed in and told his friends to leave. She gave him a mild sedative and he relaxed. After that indecent only his sister and parents were aloud in the room with him. No one talked to him about what had happened. They just smiled and acted as if everything was fine. When the doctor felt that his body had recovered they sent him to the hospitals psychiatrist. After two hours he was given a clean bill of health and was sent home. His parents still unsure of stability took him in to watch over him until he had gotten back in to a normal routine and was getting on with his life.

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**Everyone's pointing their fingers, Always condemning me, And nobody knows what I believe.**

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Edward had spent a month staying with his parents before he had enough and told them he was going home. When he got home everything looked exactly the same. He wasn't sure why but he felt that something should have been different. He went around looking at everything in his apartment. The only thing that was off was the amount of mail that was siting on the table and the food that had gone bad in his fridge. He also noticed the lack of photos. He knew he had his sister to thank for that.

After a very long shower he ordered take out and sat to watch a movie. After his movie and the not so great food he had, he decided to sleep. As he passed the table he noticed that the top letter on the stack didn't have an address. He looked at his name scribbled across the envelope in a very familiar messy script. He held it for a moment before he threw it back on the counter and went to bed, but sleep eluded him. He spent the night tossing and turning and thinking of nothing but the letter that sat on the counter mocking him. When he saw the sun rise he removed himself from the bed and sat down at the table looking at the letter but couldn't open it. He ignored it once more before he got dressed and went to work. This routine continued for three weeks. On the third weekend home he sat with the letter in his hand when he heard a knock at the door. He placed the letter down and opened the door to his friend Jasper. After letting him in they sat in the living room quietly.

"What brings you by Jasper?" Edward asked not sure what to do. Jasper looked at Edward then back at his hands.

"Look I know its none of my business but as your friend I think you need to talk to her."

"You're right its none of your business. Now if you have nothing else to say you can leave."

"Look man, this whole thing sucks but if you talk to her you'll see that its not what it looked like. Just please call her or something. You might regret it if you don't." Jasper got up before Edward could say another world and left. Edward sat in the same spot not moving til his body had had enough and fell asleep. When he woke up his neck was sore and he was even more pissed then he had been before. He got up and marched over to _her _letter and picked it up with every intention of ripping it to shreds but he couldn't. He fell to the floor and for the first time since _that_ night he cried. He cried till he had no more tears. Once he was done he pulled his self together and called his sister. He needed to read the letter but knew he couldn't do it alone. He sat and waited for her. When his sister came in he told her about the letter. She was against reading it but knew that her brother needed the closure to move on. She took the letter form his hands and opened it. After going over it twice she handed it to him. He took it with shaking hands. His eyes scanned the hand written letter before reading it.

_Edward,_

_ I hope you actually read this letter. There is so much to say and I wish I could tell you to your face but I know that now is not the time. I'm not sure exactly what happened but after hearing from Rose and Jasper I have a pretty good idea of what has happened. I can tell you that I would never do anything to hurt you. That day I was at my doctors. He was running late and I didn't leave his office till about 7:40. I was running late getting home and I was surprised that you weren't there when I got home. What I did find was a note form my cousin telling me that she had stopped by. I sat and waited for you after I got ready. When you didn't show I called and called but you didn't answer. That's when I went to you. _

_ I have never in my life been so scared in all my life as I was that night. I found you passed out and barely breathing. You had a hand gun next your and I thought of all of all the horrible things that could have happened. I went with you in the ambulance. Did you know that you coded twice on the way to the hospital? I was almost admitted to the hospital from panic attacks that night. What was worse was that you didn't want me there. At first I thought it was that you didn't want me to see you like that. Then I was told that you didn't want me there at all. I was very confused. That was until Rose came to see me. To say I was surprised at what she had to say and how she was acting is an understatement. I understand that you are angry and that you don't want to see me but I promise I have done nothing, especially what everyone seems to think I did. I know that you don't have to believe me but I can prove that I wasn't at home when all this went down. I have proof that I wasn't home till after eight. _

_ Please believe me or at least give me a chance to prove to you that I haven't done anything wrong. There is so much I have to tell you things that I can't tell you in a letter. Please I need you more then ever. _

_Forever yours,_

_Bella Swan_

He sat there and stared at the letter after reading it over at least five times if not more. His mind was racing with everything that had happened and the idea that it wasn't what he had thought. He looked at his sister but she had nothing to add. She didn't know what to say or if she even believed what was written. After a few more minutes Edward made his way to the kitchen and tossed the letter in the trash and then went to bed. He was emotionally drained an couldn't deal with the decision just yet.

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**Send a message to the unborn child, Keep your eyes open for a while.**

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It took more then a few days for Edward to sort through his thoughts and feelings. Then it took him a few more days to make a decision about what to do. Two weeks after he read the letter he found himself in front of the same door that changed his life forever. It had been over two months since _that _ day. It felt like no time had past. He still felt all the pain and sorrow form that night yet at the same time it felt like a life time had past since then. He stood there for a moment before his hand hit the door with a soft knock. It took only a minute before he heard the lock on the door come off. The door slowly opened but the face he saw was not the one he had come to see. A very angry Alice walked out and closed the door behind her. She looked at him for a moment before she spoke.

"Look I don't care what happened or what you _think _happened, but if you say or do anything that upsets her I swear on all that is holy I will rip off your man hood and shove it down your mouth. You are going in there hear what she has to tell you and don't you dare say something stupid. You got me dumb ass." unsure of what to say he just nodded. Alice opened the door and motioned for him to follow.

"Bella sweety you have some one here to see you." she said softly and sweetly, it was a complete 180 from how she was acting a few minutes ago. She walked over to the living room and crouched down by the couch. He looked over and saw her helping Bella off the couch. His breath hitched as he looked at her. Not only was she pale and looked like she hadn't slept in months, he also saw that her belly was swollen he assumed with a child. He was about to open his mouth to ask the obvious question,_ is it mine,_ when Alice gave him a death glare. He closed his mouth and walked over to them. He looked around and chose to sit in the love seat across from where Bella now sat. Alice excused her self by offering them something to drink. They were silent for a moment before Bella spoke.

"I know why you came and I know this is some what of a shocker. I honestly thought that you would have at least called sooner. There's a manilla envelope on the entertainment center. It has the prof that I wasn't here. Rose told Jasper and Alice what you thought happened. I honestly can't believe you would believed that I would do something like that. If you must know it was my cousin Jessica and her boyfriend that you heard. They came over to see if I could help them out with something. Jess knows where my spare key is."she laughed humorlessly. "I was so happy that day I had my appointment to make sure I was really pregnant and I had this whole thing planed to tell you. You see that frame up there." She pointed to a shelf. He looked and saw a small frame with a black and white picture of nothing. Then it hit him it was a picture of the baby. He looked back at her. "I was going to give you that, and show you that you were going to be a daddy." She stopped talking for a moment. She started to take labored breaths. Alice came in and calmed her down. He just looked at the scene unsure of what to do. Alice turned to him.

"I thought I told you not to get her upset."

"I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything." he defended him self. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Well if you had been around you would know wouldn't you. No even better if you had not been such an ass none of this would have happened."

"Fuck you Alice. Bella when you feel better call me and we can talk." With that he turned and walked out and went home. As soon as he walked through the door he felt the need to go back to Bella. He knew he shouldn't have just walked out but he felt like he was being attacked. He paced his living room trying to decided if he should go back or just wait. He sat at his kitchen table when he saw the envelope that Bella had given him in his hand. He hadn't realized he still had it. He opened it up and puled out a few papers. The first was a print out of the doctors office receipt. The date was the _that_ day. The time it had printed was seven twenty-three. The Next paper was a parking ticket. It stated that Bella's car was parked next to an expired parking meter. The time stamp was seven forty-one. The last was a receipt form a store. It listed the items bought. One gift bag, one bag of tissue paper, one gift card and one picture frame. The time on the receipt Seven Fifty-nine and she had paid with her credit card. He put the papers down and placed his head in his hands. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. His mind went back and forth between what he thought was the truth and what he now knew. He didn't know how to feel about all of it. He had loved Bella with all his heart and soul. When he had thought she had cheated he had turned that love in to hatred and resentment. Now everything was all over the place. He knew he cared about Bella but the pain was still there. Then finding out that he had really hurt her and had left her alone when she needed him the most made him hate himself. He was more lost and confused then he had ever felt before. The only person that could help him get through this was the one person he wasn't sure he had any right to ask it of. He sat in his living room going over and over what his next move should be. After a few hours he picked up the phone and dialed the number he knew so well yet hadn't dialed in months. It rang three times before she picked up.

"Hello" she said softly and timidly.

"Hi" he said unsure of himself. All the thoughts and questions he had been thinking had vanished as he heard her voice. He pictured how sad and fragile she had looked earlier. "Um... How are you feeling?"

"I've been better."

"Look Bella, I'm so confused right now. I have no idea what I should be feeling. I don't know what to think any more. I want to talk to you face to face. Is there any way we can talk just you and me?"

"I have a doctors appointment tomorrow at one. Maybe we can go out to lunch and talk before. Then if you want you can go with me to the doctors. I'm having an ultrasound done. The doctor told me that they maybe able to tell me if we're having a girl or a boy."

"Sure what time do you want me to pick you up?"

"Be here around eleven. Alice was going to pick me up around 12:30 and she is always early. I think it would be better if we tried to keep you two apart till we can talk."

"Okay I'll see you tomorrow."

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**Send away for a priceless gift. One not subtle, one not on the list.  
><strong>-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-

The next day Edward was was up before the sun. He paced his apartment trying to get his nerve up to actually go pick up Bella and talk to her. He was to wound up and nervous to eat. He couldn't even sit down for more than a second. He went through his closet and changed he outfit at least ten times. Cursing himself and calling him self a girl for even caring what he put on. Around Ten he couldn't take it any longer and made his way to Bella's apartment. He sat in his car trying to work up the nerve to make his way up the stairs. He finally made it to her door. He had barely touched the door before it flew open. There stood Bella looking as beautiful as ever. Neither knew what to say. After a moment, Bella let him in. They stood by the door unsure and awkward.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked. He shook his head no. he didn't think he could keep anything down at the moment. There was another moment of silence.

"I'm sorry." they both said at the same time. Bella decided she was going to let him go first. She looked at him so he would continue. "I'm sorry I ever thought that you could or even would do something like that. I should have realized sooner that you couldn't do that. You're to good of a person. I know it's not an excuse but I've never thought I was good enough for you. I always that you deserved better than me. I'm sorry that I shut you out and wouldn't hear what you had to say sooner. I'm sorry I put all this extra stress on you that you didn't need. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I don't know what to do to fix any of this and I don't know if I can fix anything. I am willing to try and do anything you want me to do. I know we might never get back to what we were but I would at least like it if we could be friends. I want to be apart of your life. I want to be there for my kid. I'll do anything for the both of you." Edward poured out his heart to Bella hoping for at least some friendship. She looked at him for a moment.

"Edward, I wish I could say that we could be what we were or even just friends but right now I can't. I want to try but I can't risk my baby. I have to keep my life stress free and you haven't been able to offer me that. I wish so many things were different. If I had called you and told you that I was running late. If I had told you I was going to the doctor or that I was late and thought that I might be pregnant. I keep think of all the things I could have do different but didn't. The thing is that you didn't trust me enough to find out the truth. You didn't fight for me when you thought I was with someone else. You gave up and closed yourself off. How do I know that the next time you see or hear something that makes you question me you won't go running off again and almost kill yourself. I don't know if I can have that over my head. To have to be careful about what I say or do because it might make you do something like that. There is just so much pain and confusion that I don't know what to do." Edward looked at her. He understood that he had made mistakes and that the reason they were in that situation was because of what he had done in the last few months. He knew he would have to work hard to get even a portion of her trust back but he was willing to do it.

"Okay so how do we do this then? You need a stress free environment and I don't fit in that right now but I want to be there for my child. I missed so much. I know that its my fault, I won't blame any one for my mistakes but that doesn't mean I don't want to be there now that I know. Do I still get to be the dad here? Do I get to go with you to your appointments? Do I get to know when things happen? What happens from here?"

"I won't keep you from the baby. You can go to every appointment. You can go with me to my pregnancy classes. I'll keep you up date on anything baby related. Maybe after the baby is born we can try to be friends but till then lets keep it all about the baby." Edward nodded. He was hurt but he knew it was all his fault. He wanted to have it all but it wasn't possible anymore.

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**In these times of doing what you're told. Keep these feelings, no one knows.  
><strong>-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-

The doctor's appointment went well. They were able to see the baby but were unable to see if it was male or female. They did get a ton of pictures and even a video. Edward took three. One for himself, one for his parents and one for his sister. After he had dropped Bella back at her house he called his parents and asked if they could all have dinner together. The made plans for the next night.

Edward was nervous as he drove up to his parent house. He hadn't told his parents or his sister about going to see Bella or that she was pregnant. He grabbed the ultrasound pictures and placed them in his wallet. After taking a moment to take a breath he walked in to the house. His mother greeted him with with his hug. They went in to the kitchen and he helped his mother. Once every one was sitting at the table eating Edward finally built up the courage to talk about Bella.

"I have some news." He said his voice just above a whisper.

"What is it dear." His mother asked with a smile on her face.

"I talked to Bella the other day." his sister huffed.

"What did the bitch want."

"ROSALIE" came from Edward, Esme and Carlisle.

"That was uncalled for know let your brother speak." Esme scolded her daughter. Edward took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I went to see her," he looked at his sister hoping she would just let him speak. She choose not to speak her mind just yet but she had a few things she wanted to say and didn't mind waiting till he was done. "She gave me some papers that proved she was no where near her apartment when I thought I heard... Anyways it wasn't her. Apparently her cousin Jessica and her boyfriend went over to talk to Bella but she wasn't home so they let them selves in and kept them selves entertained." Esme took a deep breath and smiled.

"I knew she couldn't have betrayed you." Edward laughed humorlessly.

"I guess you were the only one. The rest of us didn't even try to think of explanations other than that."

"So are you two getting back together?" His father asked. Edward shook his head.

"Um no she said she can't handle the add stress at the moment."

"That's bull shit and you know it. That is just her way of tell you to fuck off." Rose spat unable to keep her mouth shut an longer. "She was never good enough for you. All high and mighty goody two shoes. Your better off with out her."

"Rose shut up. Okay you don't know what your talking about okay."

"Stop defending her." Rose yelled.

"She's pregnant Rose. With my child. That was were she was that day. She was at her doctor confirming she was pregnant. Then she went to buy a picture frame to put the sonogram she had gotten from her doctor. She's been under to much stress because of me and she is on strict orders not to get stressed out. She has a high risk pregnancy." Rose looked down at he hands abashed for how she had been talking about Bella. She felt that if she had known she would have behaved differently. Edward wanting to move on pulled out his wallet and retrieved two of the three sonograms from his wallet. He handed one to his parent and one to Rose.

"She let me go with her yesterday to her doctors appointment. We got these. There for you. We aren't sure what sex it is it seems to be shy." he took a deep breath. "I know things are fu..messed up Right now. Bella doesn't even want to be my friend at the moment but she has agreed that I can go with her to all her appointment and she will let me know anything that has to do with the baby. She told me that after the baby was born then maybe we could try to be friends but I think that is the most we could probably ever be after everything."

Edward and his parents talked a bit more and Rose even chimed in here and there. They talked about the baby and how Edward felt about it. They talked about Bella and how she was feeling. They even started to suggest baby name. And ideas for a nursery to be put in Edward's house. Edward left his parents house that night feeling slightly better.

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**Send away for a perfect world. One not simply, so absurd.  
><strong>-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-

With a new mind set to be the best father any kid had ever seen, Edward read every book he could find about babies and what they needed. He went to every birthing class Bella went to and always asked as many questions as possible. He, with the help of his mother and sister turned the guest room in his house in to a nursery. They had painted it in neutral colors that could be easily fit any by or girl theme. He had picked out all the furniture in the room. He bought clothes for the baby and toys. He had place pictures of Bella in the room thinking that when the baby slept over it would be able to see it mommy from any where in the room. It took Edward a while to get the room the way he wanted it but he did it. He also went out and bought things like stroller and car seat (which he had the police install just so he knew it was done right.) he bought bottles and diapers and diaper bags. He had everything he cold possible need for the baby and there was still two moths of waiting left.

Although he went with Bella to every appointment she had, that had gone from once a month to now twice a month, he still hadn't told her about all the thing he had done. He was meeting Bella for her next appointment and depending on how she was feeling he was planning on telling her or even showing her.

The appointment went well. Bella was doing great. She had gain the right amount of wait and was doing better then she had a few months ago. As they were walling out Edward stopped Bella to talk to her.

"Bella can I talk to you a moment?" he asked shyly. Bella took a deep breath hoping that this wasn't what she thought it was going to be.

"Sure" they sat out side the doctors office so that Bella wouldn't have to stand by her car while he talked.

"Well there are a few things I want to talk to you about. First I know that at first it will be hard depending on wither you breast feed or not but I wanted to know my visitation. Will I be able to keep the her over night? Will you want to be close by when I am visiting? I want my baby to know that I'm there for her and not just a week end dad."

"Edward there is so much that a baby needs. Besides that, hopefully I will be breast feeding, as long as everything goes well. It will be heard to just leave the baby over night let alone the week ends. You could visit when ever you want I won't stop you from see you child but there is more to it then just watching a baby."

"I know that and I know its not easy. I won't pretend to be an expert but I have done some reading and I know that babies need a lot of attention. I know that the first few months will be the hardest adjusting to being a parent and all that. I know that you won't want to leave the her with me over night at first but I was thinking that maybe sometimes if you need some time to rest I could pick her up and just have her for a few hours just so that you can rest. I changed my home office in to a nursery look." he said pulling out his phone to show her the pictures he had taken of the room. "I know it won't be easy but I want you to know that I'm here for you and her in any way possible." he looked at Bella. She was still looking at the photos of the room. He cold see the tears in her eyes. She looked up to him and smiled.

"You keep saying her." her voice horse with emotion.

"I had a dream the other day. We were at the park and I was carrying her on my shoulders while she hugged my head. She was like mini version of you." Bella wiped a tear off her face.

"That was beautiful Edward but I think it will be a boy. I saw him in my dreams. He was a mini you but instead of straight crazy hair it was tamed and curly like mine." she smiled at him and leaned her head on his shoulder. He nervously placed his arm around her shoulder and held her. He closed his eyes and savored the feeling of having her in his arms again, even if just for a moment. They sat there for a moment before Bella stood getting ready to leave.

"I should be heading out I'm meeting Alice and Jasper for dinner," she said shyly. Edward stood and walked her to her car. They exchanged an awkward good bye before the went there separate ways. There was an awkwardness between them after that. They still went to classes but the wall that had been slowly going down was suddenly up and bigger. There were no angry words or nasty looks. It was like they were two strangers that had to spend one hour a week together. The only time they spoke was to make plans to see each other at the next class or appointment. The morning of their last class Edward was getting some things put away in the babies room when he heard his phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you?"

"I'm fine mom. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Anyways I don't want to keep you long, I was just calling to see if there was anything that Bella still needed for the baby."

"I'm not sure mom we haven't really talked about it. Why do you want to know anyways?"

"For the baby shower this weekend. Alice sent me an invitation last week but I haven't had time to get her anything but I don't want to get her things she already has."

"Well mom I'm not sure what she has or still needs. I'm seeing her today for our last birthing class. I'll ask her if she needs anything."

"Oh dear, don't tell her about the shower it's supposed to be a surprise."

"Okay mom I'll be discreet. I'll make it seem I just want to get her something."

"Thank you dear. I better get going I'm meeting your sister for lunch. Love you."

"Love you too mom I'll call you later." after the call with his mother he gathered his things and made his way to meet Bella. The class went like all the others. After the class Edward walked Bella to her car. She was about to get when he stopped her.

"Wait um... do you maybe want to go get something to eat?" he asked unable to look her in the face. It was the first time he had even thought of asking her to do anything besides going to appointments and classes. He knew the chances of her agreeing were slim but he need to take the chance. He finally looked up to her. She had her lip between her teeth. She was thinking, and it seemed to Edward that she was just trying to find a way to say no. "You what never mind it's okay. You probably have things to do." he waved and started to walk away.

"Edward wait" he turned to look at her. "It's not that I don't want to go..."

"It's fin really not a problem. Oh um is there anything you need for the baby that you don't have yet?"

"Did Alice invite you to the baby shower?" she asked shaking her head.

"Um...what? No..." he stumbled over his words he didn't want to ruin the surprise and wasn't sure if she knew there was a shower or if she was just fishing for information. She smiled and laughed a little.

"It's okay, my mom called me last week and asked me the same thing. Alice forgot to tell her that she shouldn't tell me."

"Oh well I didn't get an invitation but my mother did. She wanted to know what to get." Bella went from smiling to looking pissed off.

"She's a real piece of work." she said through her teeth. Edward was hurt by her reaction not for himself but for his mother.

"I'll call her and tell her there was some kind of mix up it's alright." he said before he turned to walk away.

"What no," Bella said as she walked up to him. "What I meant is that she has invited everyone under the sun except for you. If any one should be there besides me it's you. Will you come with me. She still thinks I don't know and wants me to meet her for lunch tomorrow. Come with me, she wont say anything once your there."

"Sure you want me to pick you up or meet there?"

"Pick me up at eleven, and dress nice." she smiled and walked back to her car.

o-0-o-O-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-

**There's a piece of a puzzle known as life. Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight  
><strong>-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-O-o-0-o-

Edward picked up Bella for the baby shower on time and followed her directions to the location. Once there they walked in together. You could see the look on everyone's face. Some were shocked some had knowing looks. His mother had the biggest smile on her face but it was Alice that stood out. You tell she was angry. She was turning red and he thought that if it was possible then she would have steam coming out of her ears. After saying hello to every one Bella asked Edward to get her a drink. He happily walked over to the bar and got her a non- alcoholic fruity beverage. He stopped quickly to say hello to his mother father. He walked back to the table that Bella was sitting at only to find she wasn't there. He saw her in the corner talking to Alice. Both girls were so busy talking they didn't notice him approaching. He didn't make it any further than being ear shot from them. What he heard made him want to just walk out and leave.

"Bella really is this such a good idea. I mean I know you only brought him here to piss me off. Mission accomplished. He shouldn't be here he doesn't deserve it." Alice all but yelled at Bella.

"You're right Alice, what was I thinking." Bella replied in a monotone voice. Edward didn't wait to hear what else was said he quickly made his way out of the restaurant. He paced the parking lot thinking of what a fool he had been to even entertain the idea of being Bella's friend, let alone making it more than that. He pulled out his keys to leave when he remembered what had happened the last time he left with out fighting for what he thought was his. He had lost everything that meant anything to him. He had almost lost his own life due to his jumping to conclusions. He shook his head placed his keys back in his pocket and walked back in to the restaurant. He looked around and saw an sad looking Bella at her table. He walked over to her and sat down.

"Hay are you okay?" He asked.

"You left."

"I was just out side I'm not going anywhere."

"You had your keys in your hands when I saw you."

"Yes I thought about leaving but then I remembered what I could lose if I did and I knew that no matter what I couldn't risk losing any more. It to important not to fight for it." she looked in to his eyes. He wiped away a tear that had slid down her cheek.

"Thank you for coming back." She said as she placed her head on his shoulder. He placed his arms around her. In that moment they both knew that something had changed between them. They still had a long way to go to be what they once were but the fact that he had returned and was ready to fight for her and their baby. It meant everything in the world to her and she knew that in the end they could be the perfect couple everyone once thought they were.

**THE END**

_AN: Thank you for reading please let me know what you think. I've been working on this for a while so I hope you really like it. There will be no more to this story. If you want to know any more about the characters than ask and I'll tell you. _


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